This Is The Most Important Piece Of Information That Any Single Man In The Swinging Lifestyle Can Read
"Rules To Live By"
Written By:  Barbi Leigh & Ken

It's Very Important That ALL Single Gentlemen Read This Completely BEFORE Attending Our Parties

Single Gentlemen
 In The Lifestyle

We Appreciate Single Gentlemen and realize that you play an important role in the swinging lifestyle so select single males are permitted. "Select" means that you must be clean, polite, well dressed and well mannered. If youíre not all of these things then these parties are not for you. In short... You must be a classy guy.

Remember That Swing Clubs are a Membership Only Private Club. Itís a little different than most private clubs. If you join a country club or even a condominium association, they conduct a thorough background check before allowing you to become a member. At these parties we understand that discretion and privacy is of utmost importance so we forego initial character checks before allowing you to become a member because at our parties, your character is under continual scrutiny... That means that just because you are a member today, does not mean that you can be a member tomorrow. If you misbehave, act badly or disruptive, then your membership will be immediately revoked and you will be permanently bared from ever returning to the club again. So carefully read and understand this Singles Guide To Successful Swinging.

Since Swing Clubs Are A Members Only Club, members that visit again and again know each other. This also means that if you insult or offend one couple, word will spread very quickly to the other members. By the same token if you are pleasant to a couple and they enjoy their sexual encounters with you, they will be eager to introduce you to other couples and ladies so that they can enjoy your talents. Just like close friends love to recommend a good movie or a good restaurant to their friends... Swingers like to recommend people with special sexual talents to their friends!

So In The Interest Of Helping YOU Get Off On The Right Foot, and not make any mistakes, please read and understand this Singles Guide To Successful Swinging. If you donít read this, then if you screw up and get ignored, you only have yourself to blame.

You Will Have A Great Time At Our Parties If you leave your "Macho attitude" at the door. Be yourself, be real and socialize, ask a lady to dance and have fun. Maybe even ask her husband for permission to ask his wife to dance. Talk to her husband and be friends with him too, remember... If he doesnít like you then youíre not getting anywhere with her. Take your time and donít be in a hurry. If you do that youíll have a much better time than the guy that puts on a towel and starts cruising as soon as he walks in the door with a macho horn-dog attitude.

One Important Thing To Understand About Couples (and women) who are in this lifestyle, is that every couple plays for a reason, their own personal enjoyment, not yours. Some are interested only in other couples, some only in women, some do nothing, they just like the atmosphere, and some are interested in playing with single men, (this is where you come in).

Also, Single Doesn't Necessarily Mean You Aren't Married, it only means that you play as a single. Many couples are open and seeking a second or even third man to join them. The key is, which single men they choose, and from your viewpoint, how do you get to be that guy!

First Of All, Understand The Lifestyle. Read the couples section of this website to understand their viewpoint better. Remember that for the most part, everyone you meet at a swing club is there for the same reason you are. What youíll find is that swingers arenít cheating on their spouse, theyíre open about what they do, and what they want to do. Donít come to our parties to fall in love, or think youíre going to sweep a lady off her feet, and take her away from her husband, that will get you nowhere! Come to have a good time and make some new friends.

All Couples Have A Set Of Rules By Which They Play, and vary little from those rules. Donít try to change them; it wonít work and you will appear pushy.

Be A Gentleman And A Classy Guy. Just because a woman likes sex, doesnít mean she appreciates vulgar language or suggestive remarks. Good manners and social skills are more important here than anywhere else.

Dress Nice Like You're Going On A Date. Because you ARE going on a date! When you know you will be having an intimate encounter with your mate, you take extra special care in your daily hygiene routine, right? Well multiply that ten times for this lifestyle. On a first date you spend extra time brushing & flossing your teeth, showering, shaving, doing your hair and putting on your best cologne. Treat this like a first date, get extra cleaned up and dress to impress. Leave your torn or baggy jeans or shorts and T-shirt, tank top and baseball cap at home, youíre not in high school any more so donít dress like it.

The Strictly Enforced Dress Code For Friday & Saturday Is:

No Printed T-Shirts

No Tank Tops.

No Torn or baggy excessively worn jeans.

No baseball hats.

No sandals.

Dress To Impress... Because isnít that what you do when you go on a date? Dress like youíre going to an upscale nightclub because you are.

Donít Assume That Just Because You Talk Or Dance with someone that they want to have sex with you. And, donít get too aggressive on the dance floor or at the bar, etc. unless you get the clear message that itís OK. If you get that message, go with it, just donít go overboard. You can even ask her, "Is this okay"?

Leave The Creative Pickup Lines At Home. The ladies at our parties are adults and are not into head-games. They have heard every line in the book and they donít work. The best opening words in the world that work 99% of the time at our parties are, "Hello, this is my first time here and I noticed you and wanted to introduce myself to you, My name is Joe".

Introduce Yourself To Both The Husband And His Wife. Never wait until he goes to get a drink and sneak up to meet her without him present, or wait to ambush her as she heads to the ladies room.

Also, Don't Pretend You Don't Understand what kind of club youíre in or what goes on here. As crazy as this sounds many guys say, "really? A swingers club? I didnít know that, I just thought Iíd stop in and pay $100 cover charge to a club in this unfamiliar neighborhood". If you say that, you look like a complete idiot. Nobody stumbles into a swing club and we all know why weíre here.

If You Want A 100% Sure Thing then go to a whorehouse or call an escort. Our Internet Parties are a social club and the ladies here are upscale wives and girlfriends and above all, they are ladies, not escorts. Treat them like ladies.

Donít Insult A Memberís Intelligence with the famous lie, "my wife wanted me to come here first by myself to check it out, so Iíll come back with her the next time and we can all play together after you and I play now". No wife in the world that is just beginning to explore this lifestyle, would send her husband to a swing club without her.

Donít Talk About Your Wife Or Girlfriend, and how great she is or how beautiful she is - if she was, you wouldnít be here alone and sheíd be with you. - and donít tell a lady how hot that woman across the room is. If thatís what you think, tell it to the lady across the room.

Donít Ignore The Husband. No matter how much his wife likes you, if the husband doesnít like you, youíre not getting anywhere with her. This doesnít mean you need to spend all night talking with him, but introduce yourself and be cordial and play it by ear.

Donít Be Shy & Withdrawn Or Be A Wallflower. If you see a lady youíre interested in, be observant. If she dances with guys other than her husband, or if she spends time talking to single men, maybe sheíd enjoy talking or dancing with you as well. Donít be afraid to approach her. Even in swing clubs, women generally donít approach men. Just because a lady is with her husband, doesnít mean sheís not available or is unapproachable - remember this is a swing club. Donít be afraid, just approach politely and with class.

Never walk Into Our Party And Put On A Towel As Your First Action - If you do, your chances of getting lucky go to zero. When youíre in a towel and the lady or couple youíre approaching is dressed, you got no chance.

Our Parties Are A Social Club, Not A Drinking Club. Drink in moderation. You will find that alcohol and erections donít go very well together and if you have too much alcohol, not only will you become stupid and belligerent but you wonít be able to get an erection to save your life, and no one likes to be around a flaccid slobbery drunk.

Donít Sneak Over Into The "Couples Only" Room pretending to be with a couple. If they wanted to be approached by single men, then they would be on the "Single Side" of the room. And if they wanted you to join then in the "Couples Only" room, then they would invite you. Our Internet Party members have very good memories and a very tight network and donít soon forget intrusive behavior.

If A Couple Is Engaged In A Threesome Or Foursome while NOT in the "Couples Only" section, maybe they only like to be watched by single guys, but not touched.  So donít try to sneak your hand in there to "grab a piece" thinking that she will be unaware of whoís hand it is. Although she might not be aware, her husband or the other involved partners will be very aware and will have you quickly removed from the club. Ask before touching anyone.

If Someone Tells You "NO" Thatís All There Is To It. Itís not open for discussion. Donít ask them, "why not?" Or "are you sure, Iím the greatest lover in the world?" They are busy playing and are not interested in a debate of in you joining them no matter how great of a lover you might be.

Do Not Come To Our Parties With A Group Of Your Buddies. Yes itís true that many ladies enjoy multiple male partners and many enjoy a "gang-bang" but they donít need you to provide the "gang". If you only feel comfortable coming to our parties with a group of your friends, then go back to high school because our parties are for grown-ups. This is not a double date, or an activity for you to bring your buddies with you. Experience has shown that guys coming with their buddies tend to behave differently and more aggressively trying to show off for their friends. More than two single men arriving together will not be admitted.

All In All, Itís Real Simple; Be A Gentleman, Be Classy, be friendly, and treat people well. Everyone has a much better evening if the ladies have a fun time, and if they do, then youíve got a great chance at having a really fun time with them.

Appropriate Behavior For Joining A Couple

A True Gentleman & Classy Guy In The Swinging Lifestyle is non-threatening to the male spouseís virility...Heís happy to be sharing in the encounter and doesnít try to monopolize it... He knows his place in the bedroom and out...He is also a friend of BOTH spouses, yet slightly closer to the male.

In A Nutshell... Be A Classy Guy!

1) Always be polite

2) Never assume

3) Ask permission before touching

4) ĎNoí Means ĎNoí. Accept It Gracefully. No one pleases everybody. And never think that you know more about what she wants than she does. If she or her husband says "No", then thatís exactly what they mean, donít question "Why". It's not open for discussion. If they have to tell you twice, then you are no longer welcome at Velvet and you can consider your membership withdrawn.

5) If You're Unsure about proper procedures or whatís allowed, Ask.

6) Most People In The Club Have A Partner, include them in your conversation when appropriate.

7) Mind Your Manners. Be on your very best behavior.

8) Pay Attention To Nonverbal Signals, both positive & negative. Body language speaks much louder than actual words. Act accordingly.

9) When Talking To Other People In The Club that you are interested in, make sure you understand their personal rules and boundaries. Every one is different.  And NEVER try to persuade them to change their rules for your benefit.

10) Admission To The Club DOES NOT Guarantee that you will have sex, but only that you will be admitted to the club. No one owes you anything and you shouldnít expect anything from anyone.

11) If You Have A Problem With Someone At The Club, PLEASE tell the management and let them handle it, not you. Never create or contribute to a "scene".

12) If Youíre New And Have Additional Questions about the club or the lifestyle, ask to speak to one of the regular member couples. They will be happy to answer any questions you might have. It's also a great way to start a conversation!

13) Class & Style Will Get You Much Further Than Pushiness, arrogance or macho, agressive, crass behavior.

14) Be Aware Of How Much You Drink. No one is attracted to, or impressed with, or wants to be around a drunk. This is a social club, NOT a drinking club.

15) Never Put On A Towel Before 11:00, unless a couple invites you do do so.  Wait for couple youíre interested in, puts their towels on first. If you put on a towel and approach a couple or lady that is fully dressed, you might as well leave your testicles in your car because you won't need them here.

16) Never Go In the "Couples Only" playroom without being with a lady or a couple, & never claim, "I didn't know this was the couples only side", because ladies don't like stupid guys either.

17) No Male Nudity Is Allowed In The Dining Room or common social areas.  You must at least be wearing a towel.

18) Always Dispose Of Used Condoms In The Trash. Yes this mean that when you are through with it you must carry it with you to a trash can. Never leave it where you took it off or you will be invited to leave and not come back. (and you might end up wearing its contents on your head.)

If You Follow These Guidelines, you should have a great time and make lots of new sexy friends. And if you REALLY want to be a "Classy Guy" and have the greatest success meeting couples and having fun, then you will click this link titled "What To Expect", to see the section for couples and singles that have never been to a swing club.  You should also click our "Questions & Answers" section.  This additional information will help you better understand single ladies and couples and what they are thinking.

Barbi Leigh & Ken from the website composed this detailed, "What To Expect" section.  This information is so valuable, that (although unauthorized to do so) a couple clubs post this information on their website.  This speaks volumes!





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